Relationships are a give and take, it is a bond that two people share where there is respect, values, experience, family, and other external factors like the Internet, the social media, Facebook, Twitter trends et al, that cause major and minor influences on every relationship. A relationship between two partners bonds them by love, mutual respect and strength. The foundation of truth and openness fades every possibility of a misunderstanding that harms that bond. When relationships start to sour, they don’t show signs immediately, but one fine day when you know it, the damage is beyond repair.
Damage starts getting done when you cannot accept your partner for who they are, find faults with them every time and tell them to change “for the better”. The occasional leaving-the-wet-towel-on-the-bed story requires intervention, but trying to change a shy, introvert into a party-freak extrovert (quite an unrealistic expectation) is just not the way forward into a strong relationship. You cannot tailor-make a person to “fit your partner-requirements” perfectly. Moreover no one is perfect and if they are, you won’t be worth them until you’re perfect too.
Whether it is constant PDA or fights in public, doing so will only worsen your relationship. If you value your relationship keep the bad between closed doors. In fact having a healthy argument where you just let everything out will help keep your heart free of malice that will keep you going strong.
Look at your relationship style. Are you a dependent (needy), an interdependent (mutually needy), co-dependent (conflict-avoiding), or mutually supportive partner? Being overly dependent on your spouse or two partners dependent on each other, or not being able to draw healthy boundaries and not being able to say to each other will only hurt the bond you share. Instead, when both partners are independent yet want to be with each other, and depend on each other even though they are capable of standing alone, they strengthen the relationship.
When you start keeping score about hurt, pain, fights and forget to forgive, let jealousy take over and magnify issues to seem too big to handle, you can only harm your relationship.
Even a child will tell you that spying and lying are bad things. Let go, give your partner some me-time and space and allow him/her to walk back to you. If you get too secure in your relationship you’ll pile up a few pounds, start taking your partner for granted and get very casual when you’re together. Don’t forget why you are in it and what you loved about your partner. Be self-confident, which will show your confidence in your relationship too. Everyone loves to have an independent, capable and confident partner.
If you have kids involved, marriage can become boring after them. Remember you’re still the same amazing couple with great chemistry and there’s no reason why that status should change.
The only things that can really make or break your relationship are YOU BOTH.
This post is also available in: Hindi