So now the act is done and you are lying between the sheets with your man who made you happy. He feels great and you cuddle into him whispering something into his ear and probably fall asleep in his arms. He is in thoughts that weren’t the same just a while ago though…. what went wrong? Maybe, your words.
- “You’re so big/small/inadequate/stiff/squidgy!”: If you feel the need to comment on his prowess and performance in bed after the act, it’d be better if you could wait for another not-so-romantic setting to blurt out your dissatisfaction. If you have compliments, then bring them on now, but not in a baby-cuddly way.
- “You’re just like my ex”: Never categories him in general, he is a special man who just made you feel special, so quit saying “I’ve heard men do this in other ways” or such. Comparisons of the act or the man concerned with friends’ partners or your exes- nah…it’s insulting.
- Pushing away your man or getting too touchy right after the act: Men mostly like to have their space after love-making, so if he wants to just lie down and sleep, let him be- don’t nag about “turn towards me/keep your eyes open/keep your hands on that side”. If he wants more feely, oblige or guide his hands to places where you are comfortable having him in/on.
- Taking dirty talk to a self-deprecating level: “you were such a bad ass, I felt like your whore tonight” or calling yourself a slut in bed is stooping too low in the assumption that this talk will give you any pleasure in re-inviting the memories of your freshest experience in bed.
- Discussing stuff immediately after: keep your to-do lists away, your phone on silent mode away from the bed, and all those mundane things you want to talk about for another time. You’ve just made passionate love, live the moment!
- Marriage, parents, religion, doubts and complaints throw these topics out of the window! : don’t mention these right after- mentioning these now can pressurize your man to feel like sex only comes complimentary with these and nothing else.
- Nudity and you: if you scamper away to pick up your robe/turn off the lights when he just toppled off you in bed, it’s going to make him feel you didn’t enjoy him. And if you have enjoyed him, then let him enjoy seeing your bed-hair, all-naked look, even if you’re not the most perfect woman in the world.
- Self-doubt: each man wants a self-confident partner in bed, even if it’s her first time, and your inferiority complex can ruin the mood. Saying “I don’t feel beautiful anymore” or “my fat belly looked ugly” can make him look at you the same way when he might think otherwise.
- Fretting about make-up: if you have mascara or lipstick smeared on face don’t jump out of bed immediately after to have it cleaned, makes you look like a make-up control-freak!
- Don’t insist on clicking a selfie finally or posting on social platforms, please!
This post is also available in: Hindi